it's still early. not even nine. but here i am. at work. blah. count blah, to you.

some links that'll get you going, i think. first, we have vampire lesbian kickboxers (thanks, eccles). a game called way of the stick, shamelessly stolen from emdee's blog. apocamon, which is a version of the revelations of st. john the divine as if done by the makers of pokemon. very odd. the adventures of stick figure man, which is another good one. and an article about a man who was found dead in a lagoon at walt disney world. nobody dies at disney.

last night, i went to blockbuster and picked up the one, a movie with jet li. it had all the neat special effects and all, but it wasn't that spectacular a movie. but one of the cameos surprised me. there was a scene in a morgue and one of the coroners was mark borchardt, who was the subject of the documentary american movie. when i looked him up on the imdb, there he was. not only does he have a bit part in the one, but he was also in two other movies. interesting....

so that was my discovery from last night. and those are the links i've collected to date. have fun. i know i will.

i am matt's complete and utter lack of enthusiasm for this job. and code assist won't run properly on pennsylvania's computer, to boot. as if i didn't need a reason to run screaming from my desk at eight in the morning.

there was an article in the paper this morning about how people who don't show a lot of remorse at the death of loved ones aren't cold fish. instead, they display a more balanced view of reality and are correspondingly better able to deal with adversity. i showed it to shannon and she told me i should cut that out and keep it with me to show to people. i guess i do tend to be at one remove from my emotions. at times.

right now, though, i just want to give in to the hate and the apathy. give in and turn to the dark side.

i like to think that if the only things i have to bitch and complain about are money and my job, then things can't be all that bad. it's true, too. everyone complains about the same things. but a job should be decent. if you're going to spend eight hours at a place, then doing so should not fill you with dread. categorically not.

and right now, i'm not very happy at all. at all. i repeat. i say, at all. (update: feeling better now that code assist has been installed. that just ate up 40 minutes of my life, though. i'll never get those back. never ever.)

in other news, michael dirda has decided to stop being one of the top reviewers for the washington post. i'm disappointed. not only will i not get to read his reviews (one of the reasons i looked forward to the book world every sunday) but i this also means that i probably won't get to see him review anything i've written. oh well. he's planning to write a novel or two during his absence. so that's not so bad. i suppose.

asa barber, who writes the men column for playboy has been diagnosed with lou gehrig's disease. except for the diagnosis, none of that means much to you. but it's on par with michael dirda leaving, except that barber's not leaving. not yet. still, it's not good when bad things happen to good writers. and i happen to like asa barber's columns. (i am one of those people who actually reads playboy for the articles, believe it or not.)

and there's an article from the university of florida that i just wanted to mention briefly. it's not very well written and the author flaunts her prejudices, which is the first thing they teach you not to do in freshman composition classes. guess she didn't learn too well. but then again, neither did her editor, because that piece shouldn't have made it to publication. it's unimaginative, uninformed (any place that serves alcohol has the right to deny service to visibly intoxicated patrons and many bars and restaurants have been known to take keys away from drunk patrons rather than let them drive home drunk), poorly worded (another adjective, perhaps?), insulting and makes it's point through the use of an extremely strained tautology. i mean, come on. smoking has been scientifically proven to harm the health of people in the immediate area of the smoke. second-hand smoke? overeating is not known to adversely harm the health of the people sitting next to you. unless she knows something we don't? (which i doubt.)

i'd write to the author of the article and explain all of this to her and tell her to get a new career ambition (although working in a restaurant seems to be working out quite well for her at this stage) but i can't be bothered. besides, if she keeps this tone up, she'll find out that there are damned few job openings at major newspapers for whiny little girls who think they have the chops to imitate the misanthropic bitch. rude awakenings are good things, sometimes. not often. just sometimes.

sunday, rainy sunday. hm. i should check to see if i've used that opening before. nah. can't be bothered.

woke up yesterday at nine thirty cause i asked shan to wake me up then. i woke up at eleven last saturday and we were rushing around all day as a result. i didn't want to do that this weekend, though. i actually wanted to do something. not anything in particular, mind. just something.

so. the sun was shining and it was a beautiful day. so we went to the silver diner for breakfast (where visible tattoos are not an issue for the wait staff, but neither is service, apparently). then we drove up to hains point to see the giant coming out of the ground. if you've ever seen the movie the net, the beginning has a scene with a guy on a cell phone at a park with a giant coming out of the ground. that's hains point. neat sculpture. and from the point, you can see national airport, the war college and one of the air force bases that's over the river. and you can even see the wilson bridge way down the river. it's a neat little park. very easy to get to, too.

then drove around the mall for a minute or two and came back into virginia. we went to a thrift store where we bought ten books for three dollars. good deal. borges, christopher moore, zelazny, orson scott card, two frederick forsythe books. the list goes on, really. then we came back down to springfield, got ice cream at maggie moos and went over to gnc for some golden seal.

when we got home, there were four messages on the phone machine. two of them were from greg, who wanted people to come over to his place and hang out. shannon declined to go, on the theory that she really wouldn't enjoy herself. which makes sense, actually. all we did was sit around and play soulcaliber. that's pretty much all we ever do. and greg wondered why shan didn't want to come.

i got there at fiveish and came home at eight. i took shannon up to catacomb, got my hand stamped (two for one is a great thing) and then went back down to greg's for some more hanging out. i left greg's at eleven and went back up to the club. our friends mandy and misha were there (hi guys!) and it was a fun evening, all in all. oh. and we gave christopher a ride back to his house. he was a nice guy.

today we just have laundry and stuff like that to do. the new issue of playboy is in and it looks like it's got some good features. and i still have to check out the book world. no idea what that's like. but it's rainy today. blah. so it's probably a low-key day.

i took the time to go get my comics yesterday. sooo many new things to read. metabarons, transmet, sip (oooooh! great issue!), promethea (another spectacular issue!) and a slew of other stuff that's really only interesting to me. and i got a copy of previews! rawk!

i'm still reading the manuscript found in saragossa. stories inside of stories inside of stories. very convoluted. but in a fun way.

work is odd. we started an outlook rollout yesterday and i copied the format of the progress spreadsheet from back in march. my boss took the time to send me an email this morning that said "nice job on this matt, well put together." !? well, okay. if you say so. that's just me doing my job properly...

and yes, michael's blog now has a trademark.

seraphim shock. as a band, they're kind of odd. sort of punk, sort of metal. but they all look at their feet when they play, so it's like a shoegazer metal crossover. goth, the new emo? who knew?

i was sad to report that there were no topless nuns, though. there was a girl who came out with fishnet stockings, a garter belt, a thong, a lipservice waistcincher (which was more for effect, cause it didn't do much cinching) and a pair of little black x's taped over her nipples. so she was topless, for the most part. but she wasn't dressed as a nun. still, boobies, eh? pity she was only on stage for about three minutes.

still, as stage shows go, those guys knew what the crowd wanted and they provided a very brief hint. enough to draw the punters to the stage, but not enough to satisfy. i was not entirely disappointed, let's put it that way.

jaxx was fun, though. the space is great and they have day-glo band names on the walls. every bad metal band you can think of: the nelsons, ratt, cc demille, blue oyster cult, wang chung, dokken, vanilla ice. and they've all played at jaxx. that's the best part, somehow.

speaking of nudity, today's right click image is a cubist redesign of an old image that i had floating around on my hard drive. the original didn't turn out nearly as well as i'd hoped it would, but the cubist remix was a real surprise.

okay. so i was digging through my referrer logs this morning and stumbled upon... emdee's blog. huh. ultra-sekrit? and no, they still haven't removed my ad. maybe they're working on processing the paperwork. or something. or maybe because i don't have blogger pro yet.

i'm running the rollout on the outlook patch that we've been kicking around forever. aside from outlook doing weird things like deleting hyperlinks in emails, this thing should be a dawdle. very easy.

and no lunch with my mother today. she was trying to get out of a luncheon, but no dice. so we rescheduled for next wednesday. good thing i brought my lunch today.

ah. good morning. (unless you're a telemarketer. then you can just fuck right off.)

finally caught this week's episode of six feet under last night. incredible episode. so much happened! was it just me or was nate senior stoned in every single flashback they showed? very odd.

lunch with my mother today.

our dhcp server at work went blooey yesterday, so we had no internet access (except email) from two on. my second computer still doesn't have a dhcp connection. that's not good. still, with no sites to surf, i fell back on the old, reliable photoshop to keep me entertained. i went through my image files and reorganized. i discovered that i had uploaded a single picture that hadn't been posted yet. (the one i posted today.) after that, i went through and culled out the pictures that i thought should go up at some indeterminate point in the future. after some remixing (i did some cubist stuff that actually looks really cool. cutout filter. try it) i have forty some additional pictures. just for the record, i currently have forty six pictures posted on the right click gallery. i'm wondering if i should just stop at 100 or if i should keep going. probably keep going.

we're meant to be going to jaxx tonight. i'm actually looking forward to seeing seraphim shock again. their floor show features topless nuns, which is always a crowd-pleaser. we saw them in new orleans last year, but the nuns had black tape x'ed over their nipples, which just doesn't have the same impact. the show is listed as all-ages, so maybe we won't get to see nipples here, either. pity, really. i mean, has no one under the age of eighteen never seen a nipple? or a vagina? whu?

speaking of which, check out the counterfeit euro.

legos. we love legos, right? oh yes. yes, we do.

here you can make a lego you.

and here you can learn about jesus through the wonders of lego.

because lego rocks.

it's nine in the morning and i'm already done with polling and i have my monitor reports printed and ready to go. i am on the ball this morning. let's see how long that lasts. should be interesting.

links. you know you want them. well, i've got them. coincidence? i wonder. we've got very cool plastic toys, a site with the complete history of spirit photography, a means of generating the ultimate evil plan (insert mwhaha here), a site about a tribute album done in latin (did i mention that it was a black sabbath tribute?), a lexicon of religious terms, an article about the fact that linda lovelace died - in a car accident!, a spoof on the sale of the british network itv, an article about a backyard roller coaster built in indiana and yogakitty. enough for now, i think. on to content.

we watched hard core logo last night, which was a fantastic film all around. the actors were all really good, the action never stopped moving and both the music and cinematography were near perfect. it's a mockumentary about an aging punk band on a reunion tour across western canada. the lead singer is a guy named joe dick and he seemed to be channelling john lydon by way of mickey rourke. every other member of the band was interesting, too. from the crazed drummer to the schitzophrenic bass player to the too-good-for-this-band guitarist. the story was compelling, too. very worth watching and highly recommended.

the bass player was writing throughout the movie and one of things he said was "i write because i'm afraid i'll forget and i'm afraid if i get lost, no one will be able to find me." when shannon heard that, she said "that sounds like something you'd say." i wasn't sure then and i'm still not sure, but i see what she means. for the character, writing became a means of catharsis and release and retreat and it fufills all of those objectives for me as well. and i do tend to get lost, both when i'm writing and when i'm not (if you see what i mean).

i'd say that it's an odd thing to get your moments of philosophical musing from a movie about aging punks, but i've already copped to getting a lot of my best sayings from hot topic (they have the best t-shirts!), so it's not so odd, after all.

when the train pulled into pentagon city this afternoon, the emergency lighting was on. it was like riding the train of the damned. very odd.

anyway. links. i know you've been waiting for them. first, the infamous picture of the lpga trophy. second, the jesus art is back. with commentary! and, finally, an odd scheme to finance nasa. it'll never work, though.

speaking of sci fi, i just want to remind people who asked to read that i'm expecting feedback. (and melmel, i'm not on the cakacomb list anymore, so i can't go harvesting you address. can you email it to me? ta.)

"sometimes words blazoned across ones boobs gets the point across quicker"

-carrie hoover, in conversation

more updates on the micromanagement front.

so our manager decided that it was her job to go in and sit down with the developer and talk about the issue that the operations team has worked on. of course, she took a partial understanding of the issue with her, so she basically replicated all of the work that we'd already done. she sent an email suggesting that we try one thing. we're in the process of replying "um.. we've already done that..."

so i'm in chuck's office crowing about this when she walks in. d'oop!

oh well, she's pissed off anyway. what is she going to do? get more pissed off? and she looks like she needs to get more sleep. stop partying. (hey, if you're reading this, you look awful!)

aaaaaaah! so our managerial team, who held a meeting yesterday because they "didn't want to micromanage anymore" has started up again. my boss, who can't read a hotlog entry, started sending out emails telling us how to do our job. thanks. that whole philosophy lasted what? an hour into the next day. we're under an onslaught of email having to justify ourselves because miss busybody can't keep her suggestions to herself. strangle. that's efficiency, right there...

it's been one of those days. so happy it's tuesday, frankly.

but i did get to finish my space opera mini-epic last night. only about 4,000 words, which makes it a short story. kind of odd for an epic, but it works. i think. i didn't ask shannon to read it (science fiction is not her oeuvre) but if anyone else wanted to, i'd welcome the feedback. hinting around...

agh. i came in to work and the phone was ringing. i could hear it from down the hall. i didn't even have my coat off and already the work day was starting. i had to log in so i could dial up and help out. and, just like that, i had to start thinking.

got news from my mom last night and it wasn't cheerful. she and her siblings had a harrowing weekend in new york. grandpa was lucid (more lucid than he'd been in a long while) on friday and saturday and got a chance to visit with each of his children on saturday, which was a really good thing. unfortunately, he slipped back into a coma on sunday, which really meant that he was holding out to see all of his kids, most especially his oldest son.

the doctors say that there is no magic pill or plug to pull, but his veins have all collapsed from overuse, and grandma has waved off all further medical attention, so it's just a matter of time now. (i guess this is the point where i rant a bit about how euthanesia would be a good thing, but i suspect that that would be too much. just suffice it to say that waiting around is not a very fun thing to do.)

the funeral has been arranged for sometime this summer. the family will gather on a boat and scatter his ashes on peconic bay. the only question is when.

interesting note: according to the terms of the will, i've been given his manuscripts, which includes his unpublished novels and stories (and his published ones, too, i suppose).

one of the reasons that my grandfather and i were so close had to do with the fact that we were both writers. so i guess it makes sense that i've been established as the heir to the literary estate. it just feels odd, somehow. still, as shannon said last night, at least i'll know what to do with it all.

shannon's sick right now, but she's going to the doctor today, so that's a good thing.

haha! pictures of dj big boy, along side his mascot, brendan!

time for some links. and to ponder what the newly announced all-hands meeting will bode for us underlings.

an article from st. louis about how the campaign against goth culture is being viewed by those on the front lines. so to speak. interesting.

check out the sideburns on this guy.

and an article about comics.

so the protesters are being arrested in swathes outside the capitol building. whee. what were they here for again? columbia? check. globalization? check. isreal? check. anything else? sure. you want to protest something, they've got the signs for it. which is the issue du jour, really. the message isn't bite-sized. all we're getting from here is a handful of pictures of people without a clear message.

now, i realize that the issues are significant. there are some horrible things going on in the world. short of holding up a sign that says "everything is wrong," though, there's not much chance that a real message will get interpolated from the protests currently being staged. it's just not going to happen. know your audience. unfortunately, these people have been talking to themselves too much and they've forgotten that there is an audience that they should be trying to reach.

in terms of enthusiasm, i give this round a ten. for message, i give it a four. for accomplishment, i give it a two. that's 16 out of a possible 30. d plus. try again. and this time, stop playing with the puppets and pay closer attention to the message. that's very important. no message means that all the enthusiasm was for nothing. honestly.

blah. i feel like an overcooked vegetable. burned out, i say.

today at work is going to be fun. we're going to all sit around the big table and discuss the flowcharts. as a TEAM. as a group of TEAMS. i figure that if i take the "this is silly" approach to things, it might actually be bearable. i mean, how much more obvious does it have to get that there is no real, underlying structure to what's going on around here. everyone's reacting and no one is stepping up to do anything to accomplish any real change. least of all me. not here. not now. they've made it clear that that is not my role. so i'll sit in the back and pretend that i'm paying attention. but i have no interest in anything that's going on around here. frankly.

so that's my work rant for the day. monday. what're you gonna do?

the weekend wasn't bad. we went out and had dinner with john and julie last night, which was pretty fun. they're interesting people and it was good to be able to give john shit for nothing in particular. it's entertaining. besides, he's dishes out as good as he gets. oh, and we're going on john's new game show, called "shut the fuck up." it was a good dinner. but we missed six feet under. oh well. social obligations and all that.

i'm writing. no clues to you about what or length just yet, but as i'm doing it mostly from home, that should provide a hint about length. (let's just say i'm surprised at how few words there actually are. it seems like a lot more.)

and my tummy hurts. blagh.

"So.. a bunch of English people who have met on email through a shared love of a science fiction writer and an interest in the future communicate via India but are uhnable to actually meet due to...

a flat battery."

- marcus flavin, ruminating on why "the manifestations of the cockup theory of history" never cease to amaze
him.

so last night was interesting. shannon bought me a nice leopard print coat at hot topic (which i spoke of earlier) and i wore that and my shiny pants out to the club. it was a texture night for me. leopard print = furry. fishnet shirt = fishnet shirty. shiny pants = shiny. (shiny is a texture.) i got complements from five seperate women, including the very interesting serenova, who i felt that i could have talked to for a hour or two easily. i didn't really want to monopolize her time, though, because it felt like she had a lot of people who were interested in talking to her about clothes and boots an all.

but i did talk to her briefly about iain banks and i mentioned the culture list, which she sounded interested in. so that may be another convert. maybe.

what else? not much. flirting with carrie, as usual. last night i had her trapped in the corner, which was fun for about ten minutes.

oh. and the city morgue is out. very nice, guys. i also got my copy of angels and visitations back from ken and lori, who were kind enough to take it to world horrorcon in chicago and have it autographed by neil gaiman for me. wasn't that nice of them?

i also had a very interesting conversation with tony last night. he's actually a really interesting guy, once you get past the t-shirt that says dancing machine. he's got a lot going on under his hood (but who doesn't, really?). the good part about him, though, is that he actually takes the time to think about what's going on. and that's the mark of an intelligent man. reflection and living an examined life. although when he shows up dressed as the gothic pimp, he's also very fly. it's a whole nuance thing.

d'oh. i forgot that it was batty's birthday today. so i changed my daily picture to one of batty and her punk rock ferret (avec le chapeau).

the sunflower collar will return tomorrow.

oh. and i shaved. for those who care. it feels better now.

today is saturday. i think. i need to shave (not to mention that it is the club tonight and i have a reason to dress up (see, shan? i do like to dress up on occasion. my dress-up drive just isn't as high as yours. heh.) so shannon bought me a leopard print coat that i think i'm going to have to learn to like. i mean, i like it. parts of it bother me, though. decorative zippers are confusing, though. they bewilder and disturb me in ways i cannot quite explain. but not in a bad way. they just keep me from wearing the coat with the maximal comfort level.) and generally look nice. because when you've shaved, at least you feel clean. sometimes it's just nice to take the time and really groom yourself.

so. that was a post about grooming myself. thank you. you've been a great audience.

i got an email today from salon, telling me that my account is due to be renewed in three weeks. i realized that i signed up for red clouds on the same day and that should be due soon, too. i check and, sure enough, my initial date was may tenth. that long ago? wow.

of course, this whole end-of-april thing has me all turned around. it doesn't seem like may is so close. nor does it seem like episode ii is only a few weeks away. how odd.

i'm mostly done with my flowcharts. they look nice, with color and everything. spiffy.

and that's about it. did anyone else see the sky turn black and the heavens come thundering down? it was raining sideways here. sideways. it's done now, though.

my mouse at work is having issues. it won't go to the right. it just sort of stops. maybe i need to clean it. banging it on the desk doesn't seem to have motivated it much.

not much content today. i have news, but this is not a news post, so you'll just have to wait. sorry.

this is, instead, a links post. i have links. probably more than i should have, but there you go.

this is a short comic adapted from the neil gaiman short story babycakes. it's prompted a bit of discussion on the culture list because, well, it's not nice. but it's satire. like a modest proposal by swift.

adrian's got a new blog. something interesting about brain transplants. a mishap during a danish operation. and a study about the time a researcher put a high-speed connection in a wall in an indian slum. (okay, so the culture list has been busy.)

something from andi, too.

blogspot has returned. have faith, it seems to say to me. so i have faith. i may be sleep-deprived, but i have faith, dammit. (why am i hearing fred durst in my head?)

things are quiet around here. well, not really. i had to deal with the updates/polling thing. and several issues came up today. but mostly, everyone is leaving me alone to deal with my flowcharts. ah. lovely flowcharts. they are my constant friend. they don't let me down.

the culture list has been telling bad jokes today, most of which made me laugh, which is a good thing (on the theory that laughing = not dead).

from the new yorker: "the dip in sales seems to coincide with the decision to eliminate the sales staff."

from the book angry young spaceman: "i remembered how lisa and i would cut people up into manageable pieces; push how far we could take being clever and nasty without being outright hurtful. of course, the more clever our quip the more likely that it would get repeated, eventually to the person who inspired it. it was like building weapons and telling yourself you made them for their beauty, their sleekness of design..."

i started writing two essays last night, too. but i think i may actually do something with them, so i won't retype them here. not yet. maybe tomorrow.

so: information. not good, but that happens sometimes, too.

first, shannon. she came home last night complaining of a pain in her ass (literally). when she went to bed at ten, she was in so much pain that she couldn't walk, stand, sleep or move around comfortably. at midnight she decided that she needed to go to the emergency room because the pain was so bad. by two, i had to go home and get some sleep. half an hour later, shan called me to come get her because they'd told her that it was going to be another hour (at least) before anyone would be able to look at her. which boggles my mind: what if i had appendicitis?

anyway, she's going to the proctologist today to see what's going on. she has a congential condition where fluid builds up at the base of her spine with exactly the same symptoms as what she has right now. she's really worried about this and i don't blame her. as soon as she has an appointment, i'll figure out what my logistics are and then i'm off home to take care of my woman. because she needs it.

second, my grandfather. approximately 24 hours earlier, my grandfather stopped breathing. he has (or should have) a standing do not recusitate order, but they brought him back anyway. so now he's in the icu on a respirator. which he categorically does not want. he has made his wishes on this matter painfully clear. he even drew up a living will in the event that this sort of thing happens. my mother told me that when grandma visited him, he was responsive to her voice and got agitated. he couldn't speak because of the respirator, but he was clearly upset at her.

so my mother and her brother and headed up there today to talk to grandma and (hopefully) take grandpa off the respirator. what happens after that is anyone's guess, but i'm not confident in the outcome, although (as eric said) "miracles happen." i'm at peace with the situation, but that doesn't mean i have to like it. not one bit.

i told my boss all of this when i got in this morning and he told me "family comes first." so i have that going for me. i just have to get these flow charts off the ground. let's see what kind of miracles i can produce with a) no sleep b) the distraction of polling and c) generally not being able to focus. this should be fun.

i had other stuff to say, too, but i'm fuzzy-minded today, so it'll have to wait. be patient. i am.

oh yay.

today is reports day. fun.

so i printed my 2001 reports. great, no zeros. all is good. then i started printing the 2002 reports. except that the page server invoked dr. watson on the server in the back, so i had to go restart that application. par for the course, really.

then, after i printed my initial 2002 reports, i noticed that the toner on my printer had gone completely for one side of the page. then i looked at my 2001 reports and noticed the same thing. great. a shrub dead for nothing because of low toner. fine.

so i changed my default printer to a network printer and sent the 2001 reports there. except that they didn't print. or didn't seem to print. great. so i changed my default printer again and nothing came out there. walking back to my office to change printers (again) i noticed that a portion of my print job had come out of the first network printer. but only part. wonderful. so i had a portion of a print job and nothing else. i messed with the printer a bit and got it to print out about half of my job and then it just stopped.

so i went back to my desk, changed printers and sent the job out to the third network printer. i made sure it had paper and everything. lo and behold, it printed everything in one go. wasn't that nice? it wasn't until after i finished with 2001 that the first network printer finally finished printing out the reports that i'd sent to it. in spurts. can you believe that?

the 2002 reports are being printed out by my helpful friend the reports expert in the next office over. i owe her big time. seriously.

this day sucks.

this was funny, until about five minutes ago, but i'll post it anyway. just look at the difference between the american and british approaches to tourette's syndrome.

so what happened five minutes ago? well, my mother emailed me to tell me that my grandfather has been put into the intensive care unit and it doesn't look like there's much hope of him ever coming out. which really, really sucks. i mean, it's probably better for him this way, but that doesn't mean that i'm very happy about the situation. "crap" sums it all up fairly succinctly.

a side effect of this, of course, is that my mother and i have actually become friends, which is a huge step for us. we're both very independent people and we've been at odds for most of my life. but i like to think that we've mellowed a lot and i've matured. so that's a good thing, even in the face of such horrible news. she's also helping me with my resume (which i forgot to attach to the first email response. oops).

and they scheduled an update last night without bothering to mention it to the person who was 'posed to send out the email announcement. which makes so much sense it's almost laughable. almost. enough about that.

on to funner topics. we went to drag bingo last night with the warren ellis folks. they were really nice and we got along really well with them (something about being cool comics geeks just makes you really amenable to others like you. it also increases the overall tolerence levels, too). they got to meet karon's boyfriend, andy, whose existence they were still unsure about. and it was all good. the best part was when someone would call bingo and they called off the numbers, the drag queens would go "yeesss" all in unison. that was hysterical.

it was a fun night, even though we didn't get in until about midnight. and we left early, too.

there are a ton of interesting things going on right now across the internet. i can't be bothered to post links to any of them. go forth and search for them yourself, dammit!

we're going to drag bingo tonight. that should be fun.

and work just gets more and more asinine. first, we have a series of datasets that have to go out, but for some reason, management decided that they didn't want to send cds. why? i have no idea. but one of my managers actually suggested that we send a server out to a single state and, as that state finished using it, the server got sent to the next state and to the next. huh? when did the overall iq around here drop that much? that staggered me, frankly. (and reinforced my contention that these people don't know what they're doing, too.)

and then there was a meeting called for 2:45. fine. no problem. i went in and started setting up for it and they told me "this is the development meeting, we're running late." fine again. so i waited until 3:30 and, when i got there, everyone was sitting there in the meeting. did they come get me? no. why? who knows. maybe they don't want my disruptive presence around when they're coming up with idiotic ideas. that makes sense.

oh well.

and they still haven't aired out the bathroom. ooh. stinky.

there was a guy in the hallway, attempting to deliver a package to the bush-cheney attache in the next suite. and the bush-cheney guys weren't answering the door. would you? i wouldn't. not if i worked there....

and my resume is getting updated to indicate my new-found willingness to be a project manager. accomplishments now. it looks spiffy. as well as the requisite cover letter.

what else? not much. i'm looking. evaluating. and that's about all i can do right now.

more links for y'all to play with while i try and figure out what i'm doing here at work.

we have the toy symphony and an odd article about an online hypertext called portal and another article about being on a porn set for a day (this was extensively linked from metafilter yesterday, so you might have already seen it.) and one from the post about ozzy.

and the bathroom on our floor at work is nasty. i've never really understood the word miasma before, but now i do. there is a foul miasma in the air in there. and it's not pleasant.

links. i got tons of links. anagram links, brain links, map links, redneck links, goth links and more goth links.

work is dull. my head hurts. i don't want to be here today. at all. ouchie.

and that's all.

so the interview fell through. but that's not such a bad thing, really. moving from one job to another, entry level position might not be my best game plan. and i don't know about trying to make it as a full-time writer right now. not without an agent or even a hint of an agent. i have some ideas, though. i'll elaborate later.

i'm sitting here on my grandparents old computer with a dial-up modem, laughing at the few culture emails that i've read (i have 247 in my culture folder that have to be gone through with great care and patience. on a high-speed connection, preferably.)

but that's not why i'm online. i'm online to update this thing and to post to the right click galleries.

my trip up was interesting. my mother and i have really made strides to strengthen our friendship and this trip really helped us turn that final corner. it's difficult to sit in a car for five hours with someone who you know is intelligent and well-educated and opinionated and not talk to them. so we talked. we talked about my job and she suggested that i take a step up and look for a managerial position (which makes sense). we talked about the convent that she went to over easter. we talked about the state of the middle east. we talked about our family. we talked about my father's family (and the stories she told - wooo!).

she drove to the new jersey turnpike and i drove through the city. i made the mistake of taking the holland tunnel instead of the lincoln tunnel and we ended up driving through chinatown/the plastics district before we got directions from a wiseass cop that took us to the fdr and then to the midtown tunnel, which leads directly to the long island expressway. we got in about ten fifteen last night.

today we went to the hospital and spent most of the day visiting with grandpa, who has a host of things wrong with him. his right side is bruised and hurting from a recent injury (maybe he fell, maybe he banged it against the side of the bed in the night, there's some confusion on that score). he's pissed off because he wants to be at home. he's pissed off because they're making him sit in a chair in his room all day and he doesn't like that. he's tired because he doesn't have the stamina necessary to sit up all day. he's bored to death because he can't follow stories, so he can't read, but he has to sit in his room all day. the list goes on.

but it was good to see him.

we saw him this morning until lunch, then we all came back and ate at the house. we helped grandma put up the screen windows all over the house and just enjoyed the sunshine. then we went back to the hospital and watched the baseball game with grandpa (the mets lost in the eleventh inning). the afternoon was tougher because his faculties were obviously failing by that piont in the day. he was making less sense and was more easily confused. he's not well and he's not happy about it.

we went out to dinner and talked about different things and we've just been talking all evening. in general. so that's good. we'll leave tomorrow morning about eight thirty (of interest only to shannon), which means we'll get home at one or two in the afternoon. maybe. depends on the traffic. and my math sucks. just add five hours to the departure time.

anyway. i miss home and my girlie, but i'm glad i made the trip.

today's going to be busy. i've still got to compare 605 lines of data in time for the meeting at ten. but at least the stupid flowchart is done. spiffy, with colors and shit.

i'm not sure if i'm going to have an interview today, but i took the time anyway (i told my boss that i have a doctor's appointment). to complicate things, my mother called last night to tell me that she was going up to new york to see her parents and to invite me along. if the interview doesn't pan out, then i'm off to new york at two instead. so there's that.

either way, i'm not going to be back in dc until sunday.

the revisions for the novel information sites are moving along. there's still a lot of work that has to be done to them but i don't know when that will happen. so feedback. it's appreciated and still needed.

i'm reading joe college by the guy that wrote election. good book. so far. i wonder what i'll think of it when i'm on the new jersey turnpike tonight.

i bought bionicles last night at target. four of the new ones. i put together numbers one and two using the instructions, but three and four i did on my own. the instructions were exactly the same for all four. i still haven't put them all together to build the big one, though. i don't know if i'll need the other two to do that. these ones have a neck that jumps out when you flip a lever. that's cool. i wonder who designs those things. do they have a desk covered in potential bionicle parts?

you want links? i got yer links right here.

an article about the osbournes, a funky clock, some strangely shaped cds and a little quiz entitled female or shemale. fun. for the whole family, even.

different things. two of the people on the culture list are getting married. that's really cool. i'd like to go to toronto for the wedding but that may not be feasible. still, congratulations are in order.

i finished my initial draft pages. feedback is encouraged and any pointers would be helpful. thanks.

and this was just too funny not to comment on. the new catacomb announcement emails are signed with the line "We've suffered for the music we love. Now it's your turn." sorta begs the question what it's our turn to do. suffer? well, yes. we're doing that now, thanks. this sort of rubs it in, though. perhaps not the message intended to be sent, i think.

ah well.

so apparently my livejournal's comments section was the place to be yesterday. all the cool kids hang out there. the electronic version of hanging out in front of the drugstore. or something to that effect.

i got some feedback about my little project and i'm actively engaged in polishing up the formatting and writing up the synopses that i've sketched out. (if you don't know what i'm talking about, that's okay. you will. eventually. when i'm done.)

we went out to reston/herndon (right on the border between the two, apparently) to meet shannon's friend from high school, who is a very nice guy. i was impressed. i just hope that he had the same reaction to me. interesting note from the evening: marriott residence puts little salt packets into their salt shaker. ditto with little pepper packets in the pepper shaker. it's like something out of moma. i took pictures.

and work is gonna be busy today. i have to attempt to test a patch that is designed to fix an error that we've been dealing with for the better part of a month and a half. the trick is that the error is very difficult to replicate and the only way to test if the patch worked is to keep testing and hope that the error doesn't ever come up. but there's really no good way of making sure that the patch is working correctly or not. makes sense? no? now you see my problem.

hi ho.

more random crap. this is an article about big budget spending for questionable gains, but it also mentions a project in mississippi to combat goth culture. just a mention, though. i'm sure there's more out there, but i haven't found it. yet.

so i should get more links before posting. this is good, too. (the reality simulator. go on. try it.)

in your face! rawk!

so i came in this morning and found emails from 8:30 last night. apparently, one of the databases wasn't restored properly and we delivered a mucked up database in our final file. that's not good. luckily, they didn't find this out until five last night, long after i went home. so i wasn't part of the process. i asked around this morning and got the whole story. there is going to be some shouting about this, i think.

good news, though. i called my headhunter yesterday because she hadn't called back. she called me again today and we set up a tentative interview for four on friday afternoon. now i just have to figure out how to get out the door at two on friday. what kind of story can i use? hrm.

and it has come to my attention that i should have credited eccles with the link about the new iain banks book. duly noted. i should do that. soon.

good morning. not much right now. major things happened after i left work last night. data exploded. things are not good. but it's not my fault.

the new iain banks book now officially has a description. i can't wait.

and i added some content. somewhere. find it if you can.

so. i had a two hour meeting where management demonstrated their complete lack of imagination. every recommendation i made was loaded down with tons of "i don't knows" and "that could be time-consuming" type comments. duh. i knew that. i work with the calls. i know how much time they consume. which is why i made the recommendation. hello?

so all that meeting did was tell me why i don't trust them: no imagination. and, especially, no idea of what the hotline workflow is. we presented maybe ten different scenarios and they just seemed surprised by all of them. i had a nice little flow chart ready - beautiful flowchart - by the end of the meeting they were asking me to put in subroutines and how hotline answered calls and they seemed to miss the point that the flowchart was intended as a broad-stroke guide to what was going on internally. grrr. frustration. i'm done here. fuck management. not if it means dealing with these idiots.

but do i want to get another job where i'm dumped into the same old mess all over again? seriously. anywhere else i go is going to involve the same situations. because people are stupid and petty and insecure and don't feel the need to be coherent when they communicate. for some reason.

i dunno. maybe i should just strike out and get an agent. work on the writing career. treat this whole work thing like some dog shit that got stuck to the bottom of my shoe.

and then there's my grandfather. this is tough. my grandmother sent me an email telling me that he's not doing so good, but they have some (vague) idea of what's wrong. he's had a blood disorder that has comprimised his immune system and he's been diagnosed with chronic menigitis. they're not sure about lyme until the tests come back, though.

grandma seems to think that he'll be released back to the house soon and she'll let me know what the dates are so i can go visit him, but it's not looking good. not good at all.

so that's my day. so happy it's tuesday. eh?

some links: rio sues the simpsons (thanks, rik!). and the bible facts quiz. and a review of blinded by the right.

and some commentary.

work. apparently, i'm overstepping my boundries. i knew i'd overstepped one (at least) but i just got reprimanded for overstepping another. i've been micromanaged, i say! and it's not very much fun. because micromanagement is only practiced when the managers don't have any faith in their employees ability to do their jobs the way the managers want them to do it. sure, i can do my job effectively (ie. the way i've always done it) but not anymore. now, i'm closer to becoming a liability than an asset. because i have ideas. and a sense of independence. and i think that's what's going to kill both the contract renegotiation and my desire to work here. if i'm going to care about my job, then it might be a good idea to let me have a little freedom in terms of doing it.

and telling me in the same email that i get reprimanded that i'm doing a good job and have a lot of potential is simply diluting the message. it is not effective. i know what good management is. this is not good management. this is sloppy management.

ergh.

first, there's a news story about ozzy visiting the white house. yes. read the article.

i'm sitting here thinking about what to do about the various archives that i have floating around. not my picture archives. those are fairly well organized and presented. no. i'm talking about all the written stuff. the half-meg worth of email i have in my private inbox. god only knows how much i have in one of my folders in my work inbox (because it's handy, okay?). i should purge it all and create a word archive at the very least. but why not take it another step further? create an archive that collects the best quotes and comments about various things.

a write up on the various dj situations that i've gone through, perhaps. a page of commentary on the books i've written. i think i could call it the podium (perhaps). something like that. i dunno. suggestions are appreciated. i guess.

my day is sliding by. no major presentation today - we just touched on a few of the issues, instead. and, in doing so, highlighted the fact that such issues exist. so that's not so bad. just.. indecisive. that's all.

i talked to metro and they're issuing me a new smartrip card. so that's okay. i even updated my address. the lady on the phone was muy helpful.

some things for you to think about. first, something about memes. and then something about the most overrated events in the twentieth century. both are fairly interesting. and i can't type worth a damn.

and that's it for now. i'm just goofing off. having fun. spending my monday afternoon in peace and quiet.

argh. i lost my smarttrip card for the metro. no idea when, no idea where. it's simply not there. that bites. so now i have to go to the metro website and track down how to claim the $20 i put on it. and, of course, i find this out as i'm trying to get on the metro this morning.

we went over to my parents house yesterday and had dinner and played scrabble. my dad is not a very gracious person when it comes to playing scrabble. he has a really hard time when he's told that his word is spelled wrong. it's tough for him. it doesn't help that he approaches the situation from an immature standpoint - gee, i wonder where i get that particular trait from?

i'm still waking up. my body feels like it should still be asleep - or, at least, still waking up on the metro. this "lose an hour" thing is for the birds.

i'm currently reading the novel adaptation of buckaroo banzai (although i'm not entirely sure if the novel is the adaptation of the movie or if the movie is the adaptation of the novel. i could probably google for the answer, but i can't be bothered.) anyway, it's a good book. humorous. interesting. quirky. i like it.

among the other books i bought at tower were a book about a cartoon character named leviathan and a book by ricky jay, which is actually really interesting.

good morning. no post from yesterday for a variety of reasons. first, i woke up late. second, i got a virus from a friend of mine, which sort of shut down the whole "using the computer" thing for a short time.

the virus was weird. it was one of those things that grabs random text and slaps it into an email. what was really odd was that the text came from not fish; duck. my words came at me. that's what duped me. (yes, i was responsible for putting a virus on our desktop.) i'll bring home a copy of norton antivirus tomorrow and clean it up. d'oh!

but the content was the odd bit. very post-modern.

we decided not to go to catacomb last night because we wanted to spend some quiet time relaxing at home. yes, that's what we spend all day yesterday doing, but we weren't quite done yet. we went to tower records in fairfax and explored the sadly little book section (where i could have spent five times the amount of money that i did spend). it was fun.

then we came home and watched o, which is othello set in a high school. very effective adaptation. that iago is one crafty man. it's the best part in the play.

and, as regards my livejournal usage, i'll go out on a limb and say that i'll upgrade to blogger pro before i start exclusively posting in livejournal. i just have to figure out what kind of content i want to put into the lj tickler post. still figuring that out, in fact.

i think i'm going to stop using livejournal for my commentary system. okay, so maybe i won't. but blogger keeps eating my posts, which hardly seems fair. and besides, my current conversation is done. i have to write more.

here's a song about the queen mum.

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the last word on this, i promise.

shannon suggested that i not send this because that would only be adding fuel to the fire. and i don't want that. but, i've already written the email, so i'll just post it up here and let the matter drop.

kangal -

thank you for taking the predictable track and living up to my expectations of you.

yes, i was an asshole, as was indicated by lori's comment (which is why that was included in the post - it was a whole context thing).

anyway. i apologize for making you feel persecuted and picked on. i guess some people can't take criticism or allow themselves to have a sense of humor. fine.

i just want to point out that that sort of reaction is what makes this kind of comment funny. if your face didn't get so red then nobody would say these sorts of things. it is a point, i feel, that has been lost on you.

as shannon pointed out, though, kangal's name was never mentioned in the initial post. it was only obliquely pointed at him and, in fact, was more directed at mtv. vanity, thy name is...

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ooooooooooooh. and i've been "an asshole on [kangal's] dime for the last time." and i'm not part of the catacomb list anymore. which was expected. it's so easy to rattle someone's chain when you know how to do it. sometimes i wish he wasn't so predictable. he'd be more entertaining that way. oh well.

(and yes, i was an asshole. just for the record. that's why lori's comment was so apropos.)

and that's the news from today. yawn.

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so blogger wouldn't publish last night. that's nice.

work is busy, but not horribly so. only three states didn't update properly and only four didn't poll. and two are on both lists. cool beans!

what else? well, we had a fun night last night with the hoovers. my notes record the following: "you always have to be the pubic hair on the coke can of discourse, don't you?" - lori's response to my comment that "apparently catacomb *is* bound." (later in the conversation, she also dismissed a rap metal act as "one of those limp stained puddle of biscuit bands.") it was a good night.

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interesting meditations on labia.

speaking of sex, did anyone see goth sex last night on mtv? it was very preachy. i thought the inclusion of a "former goth sex addict" was a bit over the top. that really made the whole "goth sex" thing seem much more sordid than it should have been. (not that it wasn't stupid and sordid from the get-go, what with the term goth sex subsituted for the more correct bdsm. i personally think that networks should be forced to double-check their terminology before going forth with documentaries that are supposed to be representing an entire lifestyle. or at least a disclaimer. hello? mtv? is this why you do not have a feedback button on your site?)

anyway...

does anyone else wonder whatever happened to kurt loder? has jon stewart taken over his indie cred? it's like walter cronkite retiring. this man (loder) was mtv's credibility in the early years. and now he's gone. a non-entity. bring him back and put him in charge. please! but keep the osbournes. and bring back sifl and olly, dammit.

enough. rant over.

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the morning has been running really smoothly. one call today. one. hope that stays consistent.

a couple of links, for those of you who haven't found all that you're looking for on the web so far. i mean, there's only so much you can look at, right?

a page about naughty phrases in latin. and a quiz about geography in the middle east (see if you've been paying attention to the briefings on cnn). and a link that shannon sent me about community and weblogs. interesting stuff.

and that's all for right now.

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so blogger ate my post yesterday. that sucks. it was nice and long and witty, too.

what happened at work yesterday? i came in and wrote an email that began with "i would like to see these features in hotlog." my boss came down the hall and asked to see me. we had a nice long meeting that started with him saying "this is exactly what i want from you."

on that basis, we had a conversation about various things and i feel more empowered. at the very least, i feel like i'm doing something right.

so that's okay. i'm still behind in terms of personal stuff. i barely checked anything yesterday and my culture list email is piling up. dangerously so.

but work is less hectic in some ways. more so in others.

and i wrote something for the city morgue. i expect to hear back from them soon.

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stoopid blogger ate my post. crap.

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argle bargle. i'm really busy and i'm posting from a computer down the hall. but i want people to know that i may have turned a corner on this whole work thing. i'll post more detail when i get the chance, but i'm working my ass off and i only have ten spare minutes as it is.

never the less, the message here is that i'm happy and i'm stressed, but it's a good stress. and i cleared the air with my boss this morning in a big way. deep breath and cross your fingers for me, but things are looking good. still dire. but not that dire, if you follow me.

expect me to be offline until about three or so. at least.

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woot! 2010, the year we make contact. and number 2000 goes to sarah daisy. yes, i'm a geek. i actually pay attention to milestones. it's all data, doncha know.

okay. take obligatory work rant as read. work sucks. good job, bad managers. blah blah blah. thought for the day: you want to motivate your employees. say your contract is on the line and their behaviour is what is going to make or break the company. what do you do? 1. threaten them. 2. persuade them. this test has been brought to you by workers for a better managing class. just because you make decisions doesn't mean you automatically know what you're doing.

thus endeth the mini-rant. sorry.

so now i'm home. i'm relaxed. things are going good. the osbournes is on tonight. it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. the world isn't that bad. just for eight hours a day. just then. everything else - good. talking like yoda, i am.

and not liking who i am, either. so i'll relax and read a book instead. enjoy the day. bye now.

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check this out - as of right now, there have been 1997 visits to this blog. (according to the little counter thingie, anyway.) so what better way to push it over the top than to post again? huh?

we had a meeting that nobody invited me to. despite the fact that i've been troubleshooting this issue since it came up and know more about it than practically anyone. that makes sense. doesn't it?

and what else? oh, i noticed that the conversations on the commentary side can be read either upwards or downwards. they don't make a lotta sense in either direction, but it's fun to do stuff like that. "i'm gonna do it different."

shannon's been sending me tons of jobs to send resumes to. she rocks. officially.

and so the day goes by.

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work is fun. they're playing games with us now. i wonder why, though. i should go to hot topic and pick up the t-shirt that says "fear me for i have the power to destroy you." i mean, one good sweep with a magnet and my bosses are fucked. or i can change all the ip addresses on the pcanywhere in my office when i go. i won't, though, because i just mentioned it here. and that would be stupid.

speaking of stupid, those guys at the end of the hall sent out a questionnaire to the states asking what everyone thought of hotline's performance. (i am half of hotline.) and someone told me first thing this morning. that was nice and underhanded.

and my coworker got "the talk" today. threats are stupid. why threaten? it just makes the manager seem stupid and incompetent. like they have no better way to motivate their employees.

so. if anyone knows of any openings, let me know. thanks.

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another day, another dollar. let's see how this goes. (i'm not optimistic.)

it's been beautiful outside lately. should be a nice day. hopefully we've turned the corner into spring, which leads straight into summer. around here, anyway.

work to do now. lots of it. that's why i'm in so early.

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okay. i went and dug out my new conversation (yes, i write them out first - so they flow, even if they don't quite make sense). so that's ready to go. now i just gotta dredge up some content. shouldn't be hard. here we go.

so work sucks. right? you knew this. batty knows this. we all know this.

but my work doesn't suck. or it didn't. i write novels. i do art. i maintain this website and keep up with a hundred plus post-a-day mailing list from my desk. at work. so my work doesn't suck. per se.

but it has gone downhill steadily. my manager doesn't know from shit and she's been tasked to make sure that nothing slips through the cracks. which means documenting everything. on shiny new databases. that haven't been built yet. (but that's okay. we do databases. and documentation is just another kind of data. really.) because we're renegotiating our contract and we have to keep up appearances.

but the person who's been tasked with keeping us up to date doesn't have the kind of long-term maintenance skills that is needed here. she has "get things built" skills. move offices skills. short-term, project-oriented skills. and mighty fine good ones. but that means that she has no people skills. bitches get offices moved on time. they don't manage operations departments.

so my boss has decided that this manager is now in charge of us. and nobody likes her. nobody. the contract people don't like her. nobody likes her except the boss - and then only because she gets results. but i do, too. and because i have not been getting results (because i let the place work like it normally does - generally efficient), i was called into my boss's office today for "a conversation." which is always nice.

they gave me some good information and told me that "it would be a shame if your three years of experience were wasted, because you've got a lot of potential." which is true, but they don't pay me enough to stay in a job that threatens to not promote me because i chose to slack off a bit for the week following a "phenomenal" (their words) upgrade. the job gets done. i've been working my ass off on a certain technical issue, if anyone would bother to pay attention to meeting agendas. oh well. inattentive. makes me wonder why they get assigned to "make sure nothing slips through the cracks." somehow, i think that explaining the irony in the situation would simply not be worth the effort involved.

which sucks. i don't like changing things. but my potential for monetary compensation is simply better in another location. frankly. i can manage. quite well, thank you. and i know the level that i like to stay at. but not with this bunch of bozos. work is like dodging pigeon droppings. you never know when a manager is going to drop by for three hours without any notice because they don't know how to work a piece of software but they want to listen in as you guide someone through a critical process. fuck that.

oh well. i'm bitching about the easiest job in the world. "noise is relative to the silence proceding it. the more absolute the hush, the more shocking the thunderclap." and i took this job so i wouldn't have to deal with idiotic management. it made me crazy then. i don't like that kind of craziness, to be honest. it's demeaning.

i'd ramble on for another hour. but i'll spare you.

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the management has decided that the best way to ensure the renewal of our contract is to alienate the hotline staff. which makes sense, really. they don't need us. we're just the center portion of their operations. everything comes from us and goes back to us. so why not alienate us, too? i figure that they're too wimpy to actually come out and say "we don't trust you guys" but they've decided that throwing up more hoops for us to jump through as we go about our daily chores is the solution. that makes sense, too.

i find it really funny that my management (who've been doing this job for years - in one case) is just now looking at certain things and saying "how does this work?" that cracks me up. the time to consider these sorts of things would have been years ago. like, when they were first being developed.

oh well.

in other news, my mother called this morning and i talked to her for a bit. she spent easter in a monastary in upstate new york somewhere and had a fantastic time. we talked about her father and her mother's reaction to her father being in the hospital. and my mother invited shannon and i over to lunch at the house on sunday. which i accepted. so that's the news from there.

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monday morning. blah. my head hurts (probably because it's so damned early) and my co-worker has called in sick today. wish i'd thought of that. i have a good line on a job or two, but that doesn't rule out other options. trust me, this will be a full court press.

and yes, that is just a random conversation that i made up on the livejournal side. it's a way to keep the content interesting, while not having to move this site, which i've developed an affection for. don't look for the conversations to necessarily make sense. that would be silly.

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